I’ve always been drawn to helping people. I was a server at a restaurant for four years during university. I even studied Hospitality and Tourism Management because I wanted to help people. I’ve always prided myself in being that helping hand and offering advice… so when this Abraham teaching came to me in the last 6 months, it flew into the face of everything I’ve ever known: You can only help yourself and no one else. So stay out of other people’s business.
It’s their responsibility to figure it out.
All of those moments when I’ve been able to so clearly see what a problem is for someone and proceeded to to explain why something is happening the way it is (and they still didn’t listen!)…. well it may have helped them in some way. It may have annoyed him. Bottom line though, is that it’s not my job or responsibility to help them.
The fact is I don’t know fully how to help them because I have not walked in their shoes. I can only offer information from my perspective of life, which is different from theirs. That person is responsible for their own experience just as I am for mine.
This led me to see how much I like to control things. How much I like to offer my help when it perhaps is not necessary, in some instances thinking that my way to do something is better.
2. People Don’t like to be bossed around
When people have health issues, I would often offer information on natural options for instance. Because I know so much about natural health, I felt obligated to tell people how they can get the results they want naturally, with alternative tools like the BioMat, supplements, and naturopathic medicine. Now, I’ve come to realize that people don’t like to be bossed around. So, I do continue to offer natural options, however, my approach to sharing this has changed.
For instance, an acquaintance of mine told me he was going to have eye surgery in a couple of months. I shared with him that I came across an optometrist’s website that created meditations for healing many different conditions of the eye. I offered to send him the link if he was interested and left it at that. We talked about the procedure he would undergo, and while it made him a little squirmish, I think he came to terms with the decision he has made- to move forward with the surgery. He didn’t ask me to send him a link to the website. He didn’t ask any questions about the meditations.
In the past I would have insisted on sending him the info for him to review and probably would have gone on about the incredible benefits.
3. People Accept Changes More Easily when They Lead the Exploration
Now, I find that the bread crumb method is a good way to approach things. Where I can share a little tidbit and then if the person is interested (since they are responsible for their life and any changes they make) I let them ask more questions. Or I may share my experience with something and if that person identifies with what I’ve shared, I am happy to talk further. If they are not interested, I let it go.
This has been a huge relief for me in many ways and also a lesson in how to hold my tongue. Sometimes I get nudged to share something and other times, my soul urges me to be quiet. Overall, it’s not my job to fix someone else’s life. All I can do is share my perspective and it’s up to the individual what they do next. Lessons are best learned through personal experience.
So the next time someone comes to your for advice, feel free to share from your heart, and then consider standing back and giving the space to learn and work through the situation for themselves.